Valentine’s Day, celebrated on February 14, often prompts individuals to reflect on their relationships and the various forms of love in their lives. In a recent commentary, author Annie Lane encourages readers to broaden their understanding of love beyond romantic gestures, emphasizing that love manifests in many ordinary moments.
Lane suggests that the day can serve as a reminder of both joy and loneliness. While some may bask in the thrill of romantic love, others may experience feelings of isolation or disappointment. She points out that love transcends the confines of a holiday, existing in daily acts of kindness and companionship.
Many have been conditioned to view love as a status symbol, something to be sought after and showcased. Lane challenges this notion, asserting that love is a practice requiring daily commitment. It involves choices such as being kind when facing frustration, offering honesty when silence feels easier, and remaining present amidst distractions.
In her reflections, Lane highlights the often-overlooked forms of love that provide stability in our lives. These include the friend who sends a thoughtful message, the partner who alleviates burdens without being prompted, and the neighbor who offers help without seeking recognition.
“Most of the love that steadies us is ordinary,” Lane states, reminding readers that true love is often found in simple, everyday gestures. She advocates for a shift in perspective, proposing that people redefine love to encompass friendship, loyalty, compassion, and the willingness to show up for others.
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, Lane offers practical suggestions for expressing love, regardless of personal feelings about the holiday. Writing specific thank-you notes, for instance, can be a powerful way to communicate gratitude. Instead of vague acknowledgments, she encourages individuals to express appreciation for particular actions, such as:
– “Thank you for sitting with me when I was overwhelmed.”
– “Thank you for making me laugh when I forgot how.”
These concrete expressions can resonate deeply with recipients, providing warmth and connection.
Lane also emphasizes the importance of understanding love in its various forms. While some people may feel loved through words, others may appreciate actions like receiving help or spending quality time together. Recognizing and meeting these diverse needs can foster stronger bonds.
Acknowledging that love is not always perfect, Lane encourages making peace with its imperfections. Love may not always arrive with grand gestures but often comes from those who make the effort to learn, apologize, and remain present. She highlights that love can flourish even during challenging times, acting as a companion rather than a solution.
For those who typically take on the role of caretaker, it can be difficult to accept love from others. On Valentine’s Day, Lane urges them to practice receiving kindness by simply saying “thank you” instead of deflecting compliments. This act of acceptance can lead to deeper emotional connections.
In conjunction with her message, Lane has released her new anthology titled Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness. This work aims to address the complexities of love, particularly in the context of anger, estrangement, and the challenges of forgiveness. Lane asserts that forgiveness is ultimately a gift one gives to oneself.
For additional insights and to engage with her community, Lane invites readers to follow her on Instagram at @dearannieofficial.
As Valentine’s Day approaches, it may be worthwhile for individuals to reflect on the broader spectrum of love around them. By recognizing the myriad ways love can be expressed, society can embrace a more holistic and fulfilling understanding of this essential human experience.