As individuals approach their later years, many experience a shift in emotional expression, often finding themselves crying more frequently. Dr. Tom Dorsel, a retired psychology professor, shares insights about this phenomenon through personal anecdotes and reflections on emotional connections.
The Gift of Tears in Aging
Dr. Dorsel recounts a conversation with an old friend, who has noticed an increase in his emotional responses, including tears triggered by memories, current events, or even the national anthem. Approaching 80 years old, this former athlete questions whether this emotional release signifies something wrong. Dorsel acknowledges that as the brain ages, individuals might lose some of their ability to inhibit emotional expression, allowing feelings to surface more readily.
“Life will break your heart,” Dorsel states, suggesting that the experiences accumulated over a lifetime contribute to this emotional response. He posits that perhaps aging provides a unique opportunity to embrace feelings that were once restrained. He highlights the perspective that we enter the world crying and may return to a similar state in our later years, reflecting on the inevitability of loss and joy intertwined throughout life.
The Importance of Emotional Connection
Dorsel draws parallels between emotional responses and the impact of modern communication. In a world dominated by digital interaction, genuine emotional connections often become diluted. He reflects on classic dystopian literature, such as “Brave New World” and “1984”, where characters struggle to reconnect with their emotions. In today’s society, the absence of face-to-face interactions can lead to emotional detachment, making it challenging to express true feelings.
“It is rather hard to look into the face of someone else who has been crushed with sadness and not cry yourself,” Dorsel explains, emphasizing the profound nature of shared emotional experiences. He advocates for the value of being fully present with others, allowing vulnerability to foster deeper connections. The act of crying with someone can be a mutual gift, providing comfort and solidarity.
To illustrate the emotional landscape, Dorsel references an article from Notre Dame Magazine by Mel Livatino, who discusses “the look of love.” Livatino suggests that this expression is increasingly absent in contemporary interactions. However, when encountered, it becomes a cherished moment that transcends the limitations of text and email.
Dorsel reflects on the notion that in our final moments, we may shed the weight of sadness and experience only love. He suggests that heaven, conceptualized as a realm filled with love, will ultimately provide an escape from the sorrow experienced in life. “The beatific vision may be just that—the look of love on the Face of God,” he concludes.
Dr. Tom Dorsel, now residing in Pinehurst and Hilton Head, remains a voice for emotional health, advocating for the importance of genuine human connection. His best-selling book, “GOLF: The Mental Game,” continues to resonate with readers, reflecting his dedication to understanding the complexities of human emotion.
As society navigates the challenges of aging and emotional expression, Dorsel’s insights remind us of the value of tears, love, and the shared human experience that unites us all.