As midterm exams approach, Catherine Chan, a freshman at Johns Hopkins University, reflects on the anxiety and anticipation surrounding her first major assessment in Organic Chemistry. On October 20, 2025, Chan found herself seated in a lecture hall, heart racing and mind racing, as she prepared to face the academic challenge that signified a new chapter in her educational journey.
The atmosphere in the lecture hall was charged with a mix of excitement and trepidation. Students, including Chan, waited for their exams to be distributed. While externally composed, Chan experienced a whirlwind of emotions internally. The combination of pre-exam nerves and the effects of an energy drink heightened her anxiety.
A Journey from Anticipation to Reality
Entering university is a significant milestone, and for many students, including Chan, it represents the culmination of years of hard work and aspiration. She expressed the surreal feeling of being at Johns Hopkins, where she is pursuing a degree in Molecular and Cellular Biology. “It feels like just yesterday I was drafting essays and creating a Common App account,” Chan noted.
However, the initial excitement of starting college often gives way to the realities of rigorous academic expectations. As midterms approach, the pressure to perform can feel overwhelming. Chan observed that the eagerness to learn diminished as the time to demonstrate her knowledge drew near. Rather than being captivated by the thrill of discovery, she found herself tempted to retreat into the comfort of familiarity, opting to binge-watch episodes of “Modern Family” instead.
Despite her efforts to mentally prepare, the weight of doubt lingered. Organic Chemistry, known for its challenging curriculum, became an emblem of her internal struggles. “Doubt was persistent in making it clear that I should expect the unexpected,” Chan admitted.
Confronting Doubt and Embracing the Process
The myriad of questions that plagued Chan illustrated a common struggle among students: the fear of inadequacy. “Did you do enough practice problems? What if the thing you skimmed over in the textbook appears on the exam?” Such thoughts can spiral, leading students to question their readiness and worthiness.
While motivational phrases about positivity and resilience echo throughout academic communities, Chan highlighted the complexity of managing doubt. “It would be nonsensical to ignore the fact that you cannot just think optimistically,” she stated. Acknowledging the presence of these unsettling feelings is crucial.
Instead of striving to eliminate doubt entirely, Chan found solace in the idea of “trusting the process” and “accepting ambiguity.” This shift in mindset allowed her to cultivate a sense of peace amidst the chaos. “The doubt I have before taking an exam may not go away anytime soon or ever,” she reflected, “but I am learning to live in harmony with them.”
Her insights resonate with many students navigating the challenges of higher education. The journey through college is undoubtedly a work in progress, filled with opportunities to confront and understand personal doubts.
As Chan prepares for future exams, she recognizes that each experience will shape her relationship with academic pressure. “I have four years filled with plenty of exams that will allow me to navigate my relationship with pre-exam doubt,” she concluded, embracing the journey ahead with a blend of hope and realism.
Strong academic institutions like Johns Hopkins continue to foster environments where students can confront their challenges and grow both academically and personally. Chan’s journey serves as a reminder of the complexities of student life, the inevitable presence of doubt, and the importance of resilience in the face of academic pressures.