Author Amanda Uhle unveils painful family secrets in her memoir, Destroy This House, set to be published on August 26, 2023, by Summit Books, an imprint of Simon & Schuster. The book chronicles her family’s tumultuous journey through financial hardships, frequent relocations, and the complexities of parental relationships that shaped her path to independence.
Amanda Uhle, also the publisher of McSweeney’s, a nonprofit publishing company, recounts her family’s story as they moved from state to state, eventually settling in suburban Detroit. Her father, a hopeful dreamer, held onto optimism despite mounting debts, while her mother struggled with compulsive hoarding and unconventional choices. In the memoir, Uhle reflects on her parents’ vibrancy, noting, “The years I spent with my parents are preserved by vivid extrasensory memories, but the actual facts of what happened feel impossible to pin down.”
Portrait of a Complex Family
The narrative captures the essence of the Long family, who lived in a self-created reality. Uhle describes how they were “masters of reinvention.” Their emotional bond remained steadfast, even amidst chaos. Uhle writes about “Longs Island,” an emotional haven rather than a geographic location, where familial love thrived despite their struggles.
Uhle, now 47, draws upon her memories and research, including small-town newspaper articles, to create a compelling portrait of her parents, who were married for nearly 40 years. Her father passed away in 2013, followed by her mother in 2015. Throughout Destroy This House, Uhle not only examines her parents’ lives but also her journey toward establishing her own identity. The memoir parallels the narratives of other celebrated works, such as The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls and Educated by Tara Westover, as it reveals the complexities of familial love and dysfunction.
Uhle’s journey toward understanding her role in her family is poignant. She expresses a lingering question: “Did I do enough for my parents or, conversely, did I do too much?” This introspection illustrates a universal experience as many individuals grapple with similar feelings regarding family obligations.
The Journey to Publication
Uhle’s professional background in writing and publishing is notable. She spent over a decade with 826Michigan, a nonprofit network dedicated to youth writing and tutoring, co-founded by novelist Dave Eggers. It was during this time, following her father’s stroke, that a colleague encouraged her to consider writing about her family. “That moment made me think, ‘Wow, maybe it is actually something that is worth telling,’” Uhle recalls. Yet it wasn’t until 2021 that she began to write the memoir in earnest.
The title, Destroy This House, is inspired by a recurring dream Uhle had about her family’s cluttered homes. She believes the book will resonate with readers, as every family faces challenges and unconventional circumstances. The memoir reflects on the highs and lows of her family’s life, from living in a large home in Indiana to much humbler living conditions after her father shifted careers to become a Lutheran pastor.
As the family’s financial situation deteriorated, they faced numerous obstacles. Uhle recalls her father’s unwavering optimism, despite the reality of their struggles. “In most cases, he wasn’t setting out to deceive us or anyone else,” she explains. “He just hoped for the best.” The transition from a life of relative luxury to one of scarcity is a central theme, illustrating the stark contrasts in their journey.
Uhle does not shy away from the painful realities of her upbringing; however, she also highlights the humor and love that permeated her childhood. “My childhood was strange and it was difficult… It was also unexpectedly fun,” she reflects. Her brother’s feedback on the memoir has been particularly meaningful, as he described reading it as akin to watching a movie of their shared past.
As Uhle prepares for her book launch, she is set to appear on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” on August 25, 2023. Following this, she will host a launch event at the Ann Arbor District Library and embark on a cross-country book tour, with stops planned in cities such as Kalamazoo, Milwaukee, Chicago, Washington D.C., and Las Vegas.
Now a mother and stepmother, Uhle reflects on how her childhood has influenced her adult life. She takes great joy in welcoming friends into her home, a stark contrast to her upbringing where such gatherings were rare. “As an adult, one of the happiest things in my life is having people in my home,” she shares. This new chapter in her life echoes her desire to forge connections and create a welcoming environment.
Uhle anticipates her parents’ reactions to the memoir. “I theorize they would be a little embarrassed and a little mad, but only at first,” she muses. Ultimately, she aims to celebrate them and honor their lives through her writing, expressing pride in the authenticity of her narrative. “I think they would have liked being memorialized and given this attention,” she concludes.