Concerns surrounding sexual experiences and bodily responses are more common than many realize. A recent column from Slate’s sex advice segment, How to Do It, addressed a query from a woman in her early 40s who expressed significant anxiety regarding her orgasms. She described her experiences as overwhelming, noting that the release of fluid during orgasm often left her feeling embarrassed and self-conscious, impacting her sexual relationships.
The anonymous writer, referred to as “Rode Hard and Put Back Wet,” detailed her struggles with letting go completely during sexual encounters. Despite her extensive knowledge and exploration of her sexuality, she reported only achieving orgasm fewer than five times in nearly three decades. Her fear stems from past experiences where partners reacted negatively to her bodily responses, leading to a persistent worry that inhibits her sexual enjoyment.
In responding to this concern, the columnists Stoya and Rich explored the complexities of female orgasm, particularly the phenomenon of “squirting.” They suggested that the writer might be experiencing a unique form of squirting, which can vary greatly among individuals. Stoya emphasized that understanding and embracing one’s bodily responses is crucial for sexual liberation.
While discussing practical advice, the column highlighted that many women who squirt have developed strategies to manage potential messiness. As sex educator Lola Jean noted in a previous column, utilizing protective materials like waterproof blankets or puppy pads can help mitigate the stress associated with fluid release. Additionally, switching up stimulation during intimate moments can help control the urge to squirt, easing anxiety.
The columnists also proposed the idea of sex therapy or coaching as a potential avenue for the anonymous writer to explore her feelings and experiences further. They encouraged her to embrace her body’s natural responses without shame, suggesting that the key to a fulfilling sexual life lies in letting go of self-imposed restrictions.
In a separate query, another reader, identified as “How Much Is Too Much?”, inquired about the frequency of changing bed sheets after sexual encounters. This reader expressed frustration with the demands of maintaining cleanliness in the midst of an active sexual relationship.
Experts generally agree that while changing sheets after every sexual encounter can be ideal, it is not strictly necessary, particularly if there are no visible stains. The column suggested aiming for a weekly change while also considering practical solutions, such as using a designated sex blanket or towels to protect bedding.
The advice offered underscores a broader theme within the column: the importance of comfort and communication in sexual relationships. Establishing personal standards for cleanliness should align with both partners’ preferences, fostering an environment where intimacy can thrive without added stress.
In exploring fantasies, a third writer expressed interest in group sex, specifically a scenario involving multiple partners. While the writer acknowledged the risks associated with such encounters, the column stressed the importance of trust and communication in navigating these desires.
The columnists suggested that engaging with trusted partners or exploring local sex clubs could provide safer environments for fulfilling fantasies. They emphasized the necessity of establishing consent and boundaries to ensure a positive experience.
These inquiries and responses reflect broader conversations about sexuality, comfort, and communication. By addressing common concerns, How to Do It serves as a resource for individuals seeking guidance on navigating the complexities of their sexual lives, encouraging readers to embrace their desires while prioritizing their well-being.