A father and son navigate the complexities of military life and personal purpose, exploring the profound impact of discipline and expectation. Michael Hyon Johnson reflects on his relationship with his father, a former Marine, and how their shared experiences shaped his own journey.
Lessons from a Marine
Michael Hyon Johnson’s father, a Marine, instilled in him a rigorous sense of discipline that began long before he was born. His father escaped from an abusive home in North Carolina at age 16 and found safety at Camp Pendleton. Though he missed out on serving in Vietnam, the military became his identity, offering him a structured purpose he desperately sought.
After six years in the Marine Corps, Johnson’s father shifted his focus to family. He relocated them to Colorado, hoping to create a better life and ensure his son would pursue higher education. He viewed education as a way to break the cycle of poverty he experienced, often discussing his father’s shortcomings as a means to motivate his own son.
Their interactions often revolved around running, a physical manifestation of the discipline his father valued. Early Saturday mornings would find Johnson’s father awake before dawn, waiting for him to join him on their runs around Washington Park. The routines became both a challenge and a bonding experience, a blend of expectation and love.
A Struggle for Identity and Purpose
As Johnson grew older, the weight of expectation began to feel heavy. While he admired his father’s resilience, he struggled to keep up with the physical demands placed upon him. During their runs, he often felt inadequate, grappling with his own identity while trying to meet his father’s standards. “I’m going to kill myself,” he once exclaimed, expressing frustration over his inability to keep pace.
“You don’t know real pain,” his father replied, emphasizing the belief that discomfort was necessary for growth.
This philosophy fueled Johnson’s decision to enlist, but he chose the Air Force instead of the Marines, seeking a different path with less emphasis on physical endurance. The separation from his father’s expectations allowed him to redefine what purpose meant for himself.
After leaving military service, Johnson found himself in various civilian roles, yet the quest for purpose remained a constant theme in his life. His father’s relentless pursuit of a terminal graduate degree influenced Johnson’s own educational aspirations. He felt compelled to succeed, not only for himself but as a means to prove his father’s sacrifices were justified.
Reflections on Legacy
As both men approached middle age, their paths diverged yet remained intertwined. Johnson’s father continues to push forward, embodying the Marine ethos of perseverance. Despite his age and physical challenges, he remains committed to his work and the pursuit of an ever-elusive finish line.
Years later, Johnson found himself in a moment of reflection at his office in West Hollywood. A young colleague, Eric, expressed concerns about his future as a soon-to-be father, mirroring Johnson’s earlier struggles with identity and purpose. In that exchange, Johnson realized how much his father’s teachings had shaped his own understanding of resilience.
“Life is indifferent. It carries on whether we decide to stay or not,” Johnson advised, echoing the lessons passed down from his father.
Ultimately, Johnson’s journey encapsulates a profound exploration of identity and the legacies we inherit. His father’s unwavering discipline and belief in continuous movement through life’s challenges serve as both a burden and a guiding principle. As he continues to navigate his own path, Johnson acknowledges the importance of finding balance between enduring pain and seeking fulfillment.
Michael Hyon Johnson, a veteran and writer, reflects on how military life influences personal narratives. His experiences offer insight into the complexities of purpose and the enduring impact of familial expectations.